octubre 06, 2007

Memes clásicos: Chuck Norris Facts

Mis favoritos sin un orden en particular (si no sabes que que estoy hablando lee esto o vista la pagina oficial):

  • Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he's not acting.
  • Chuck Norris doesn't go on the internet, he has every internet site stored in his memory. He refreshes webpages by blinking.
  • Staring at Chuck Norris for extended periods of time without proper eye protection will cause blindess, and possibly foot sized brusies on the face. 
  • Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes. 
  • One day Chuck Norris walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.
  • Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise. 
  • Along with his black belt, Chuck Norris often chooses to wear brown shoes. No one has DARED call him on it. Ever. 
  • There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up. 
  • An anagram for Walker Texas Ranger is KARATE WRANGLER SEX. I don't know what that is, but it sounds AWESOME. 
  • Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
  • There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.
  • It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch "60 Minutes". 
  • In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe. 
  • Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a "Get out of Jail Free" Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO. 
  • Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink. 
  • The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood ... 
  • Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is. 
  • Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding. 
  • Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs. 
  • Chuck Norris was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds. 
  • When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris. 
  • Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
  • Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad Chuck Norris has never cried. Ever. 
  • There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
  • Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills People.

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